So… You know how annoying tele-marketers are? How they always call right around dinnertime and keep you on the line just ‘cause they can? Well here’s a recounting of the conversation I had with one last night…
T: I’m calling to let you know about Wyndham Vacation Resorts preferred customer program yada yada yada river walk blah blah blah San Antonio…
Me: Let me stop you right there, I don’t know who you’re trying to call but I’ve never stayed at a Wyndham hotel anywhere.
T: Actually because Wyndham hotel owns… (a lot of technical jargon that, let’s be honest, I wasn’t paying attention to but what it boils down to is that Wyndham hotels owns Days Inn and that’s where B.A.B.S. and I stayed in August of 2007 in Austin and that is an awesome story but I’ll tell you that one later… Let me just say that keys, combs, and scissors do not make a good replacement for a corkscrew! You know, in retrospect…)
Me: That’s a little creepy how much you know about our trip. Tell me… What color shirt was I wearing?
T: Haha! Let me just finish this – I have to tell you about this because my boss keeps coming over… Let me tell you about our new blah blah blah… Have you ever been to the river walk in San Antonio?
Me: Yes, I just didn’t stay in a hotel
T: Fair enough, fair enough… Did you have fun?
Me: Of course!
T: Now let me just ask you… I’m sorry if this is rude but you just have one of those voices… Are you over the age of 28?
Me: (laughing now) No, I’m only 24
T: I’m so sorry but because of your age. You’re too young. You can’t actually get these rewards yet…
Me: Lucky me!
T: (laughing that turned into cough) Let me see what I can do… Do you have a husband?
Me: umm…. No
T: Do you have a live in boyfriend?
T: Are you hot?
Me: (very hesitantly) umm… Yes?
T: Do you want a live in boyfriend?
T: I wouldn’t live for long… I mean, I would live for a long time but I would only live with you for long enough for you to apply for this – you could get a free trip. We could go together.
Me: … (stunned silence) You know what? I think I’m good.
T: Well it’s been good talking to you. Thanks for listening to… Oh shit here comes my boss (click)…
Yeah… That just happened!